“She shouted that the marriage was worthless if the priest didn’t say that it was valid. She shouted that if I didn’t get married before God I would never be a wife but only a whore…she would never be able to go out of the house because of the shame of having a godless daughter” (Ferrante 49).
This episode takes place when Lenuccia is having a conversation with her mother about getting married to Pietro as soon as possible. Lenu’s mother, whose name still remains unknown, goes crazy and starts yelling at her oldest daughter for not wanting to get married at an altar, without a priest present to validate her marriage. Elena mentions that her mother herself is not religious; but the real reason why she wants her to have a reception iss because of what the people in the neighborhood would think of her daughter if she didn’t have one. The mother is clearly not pleased with her daughter’s decision not to have a ceremony at a church, but at the city hall, instead. She shouts curses at Elena and even compares a woman who doesn’t get married at church a “whore”. The mother would be so ashamed of her daughter’s decision of not having a Catholic marriage that she wouldn’t even leave her house. It’s ridiculous and fascinating at the same time, how religion lies under almost everything that is going on around us. A mother that is not religious is trying to persuade her daughter, who is also not religious, to get married at church just so she doesn’t end up being “godless”-whatever that is supposed to mean. Elena says that Pietro and his sister, Mariarosa, are not baptized and they wouldn’t baptize their kids, either. For Elena religion is not important, and I’m guessing the same thing about her mother. It’s amazing, however, to see the point of view of this era’s society on a female who does not wish to get her marriage validated by a priest. Another thing I don’t understand (maybe because I have a different perspective and grow up during a different time period) is: why does one have to go to church or be involved in it in order to be near God? Why is one who doesn’t go to church or doesn’t get married there “godless”? I thought that faith was something one carries within. But I guess this is a different matter of discussion.
This same episode in the novel reminded me of when Lenù’s parents were debating whether she would continue schooling in the first book. Lenù’s mother is completely against it but her father sees reason and agrees.
When Lenù tells her parents that she will not marry in a church in the eyes of God, her mother is furious because although she herself is not religious, it’s expected in the neighborhood for a proper young lady to be married in a church. On the other hand, Lenù’s father isn’t completely against the idea. Lenù’s father is a porter at city hall and when Lenù announces that the wedding will take place at city hall, he says:
“Be quiet, don’t get me mad, let’s be reasonable. We know very well that someone can get married by the priest, have a fancy celebration, and still come to a bad end…at least we can trust the city hall. I work there, at the city hall, and a marriage there, I can assure you, is as valid as the one in church and maybe even more” (Ferrante, 50-51).
Lenù’s father, unlike her mother, reacts in a reasonable and understanding manner toward Lenù’s unanticipated life choices. Even when Lenù wishes to continue schooling in middle school her father agrees. Her mother expects her to stop schooling and help around the house. I find it interesting how Lenù’s mother expects Lenù to follow in her same path and when Lenù doesn’t, she resents her for it. Yet, when Immacolata sees her daughter succeeding she finally sees the value in her daughter’s different life choices and even hopes to gain from them by asking her for money, a phone and a television.
I agree that it is a matter of what people think that concerns Lenu’s mother. They are living in a community where people are involved in each other’s lives and if they don’t conform there will be gossip.