Childhood: Proving Oneself

“The Interest shown by Professor Galiani naturally filled me with pride, but it had no great consequence; the school routine returned to normal. As a result, even the fact that, in my first year, I was a student with a small reputation for being clever soon seemed to me unimportant. In the end what did it prove? It proved how fruitful it had been to study with Lila and talk to her, to have her as a goad and support…, I began to expect new praise that would prove my autonomous virtuosity” (Ferrante 188).

In this portion of the text we are moving towards the childhood aspect of the storytelling. childhood is the one of the most important development stages in a person’s life. In post 1 I wrote about how it was relatable to real life that the characters wanted to pursue an education in hopes of a better life. In my chosen excerpt for this week’s readings I chose to focus on Lenu’s experience in school. it is obvious that she is trying to find her place as she refers to her “autonomous virtuosity”. She is seeking this sort of approval by a Professor and in doing so displays a desire for wanting to prove herself as more. This is just another example of how this story can be related back to the very real struggle of carving your own path and finding your identity.

Elena’s Realization: Who is more dependent?

For this week’s reading, I chose a part of the novel found in Chapter 19 of Adolescence. Elena is in high school and it is the first time she truly expresses personal feelings of strength, power, and almost a sovereignty over Lila. Elena is extremely successful in her studies and gains the respect of all of the teachers and many students. Elena is at a place in her life where she finally feels comfortable and not necessarily inferior to those around her, especially Lila.

Elena states, “During that period I felt strong” (pg 163). She continues and expresses a feeling that “Sometimes I even had the impression that it was Lila who depended on me and not I on her. I had crossed the boundaries of the neighborhood, I went to high school, I was with boys and girls who were studying Latin and Greek.” It seems as though Elena almost with her new life she has surpassed Lila, who spends her time surrounded by the less sophisticated class of “construction workers, mechanics, cobblers, grocers, and shoemakers” (163). Elena continues to acknowledge that when Lila speaks to her she sees “with increasing clarity that it made her somewhat uneasy as if it were ultimately she who felt the need to continuously prove that she could talk to me as an equal” (164).

I find this to be a very significant time in the book. Up until this point, Elena has felt inferior to Lila regarding many aspects of life. High school is the one thing that Elena thrives in and she doesn’t have to worry about the threat of Lila stealing the attention. Elena is moving on and exploring life outside the neighborhood, which is something Lila does not have the privilege to do.

Meta Post 2.0

There were eight posts for this week, and each brought up very interesting points. Some posts discussed things I have been wondering about myself and others brought up points I haven’t even thought of but really appreciated being exposed to.

Starting with the post titled “Luck and Stealth are for Escape Artists,” there was a particular line that really interested me: “As smart as Lila is, its Lenù who is the one who ultimately understands that she has grown too big for the neighborhood.” I had this same thought but didn’t know how to put it in words, but this explains it perfectly. Lila is incredibly smart, one could say smarter than Lenù, but in the end, the one who clings onto the hopes and dreams for something better beyond this neighborhood will prevail and that happens to be Lenù. Another interesting point was how Lenù picks and chooses the thoughts and feelings she shares with Lila. I think this fact gives us a peek into the type of friendship Lenù and Lila share (which in my opinion is a toxic one).

The next post is titled, “Catcalling and Men’s Behavior towards Women.” I liked the comparison between how Lenù talks about boys and how boys do the same. This post highlights the fact that from Lenù’s point of view the way she describes boys seems to come from an innocent place while the looks and catcalls her and her friends receive from men sexualize them. This contrast is important because it brings up a situation in which many women find themselves in today and I feel like any little experience from which we can relate to in this narrative can help us navigate the novel through Lenù’s point of view.

The post titled, “Rivalry and Teamwork,” also had an interesting point stating, “Lila acts as both Lenù’s inspiration, pushing her to do well in school, and her antagonist, making her feel inadequate.” This really got me thinking about the relationship between Lenù and Lila which I’m constantly confused about. I realize that they both wish the best for each other and push each other in positive ways but they can also be incredibly cruel to one another.  This quote explains the complexity of their relationship. This dynamic is one of the main reasons I question their friendship constantly while reading because in my eyes this is a toxic friendship that should end. Co- dependency is also a huge factor of Lenù and Lila’s friendship that I’ve been thinking about while reading as well and I’m glad that it was mentioned in this post and I’d want to focus in on co-dependency in their relationship in future posts.

In the post, “Lila Becomes a Women,” a quote that stuck out to me was, “The way Elena puts herself down when it comes to Lila is almost scary, as if Elena’s personality is connected to Lila’s.” This also alludes to the topic of co- dependency that I think we should all explore more in posts and in discussion. I also liked how Lenù’s view is described in this post as “obsessive teenager” because I think it’s exactly what Ferrante has managed to capture and put on paper even as an adult. I agree that it’s hard to successfully write in this point of view when in the moment you don’t own the mentality of a teenager. An understanding of the view from which the story is told is necessary in following the narrative.

A point I found interesting in the post titled, “A Look, a smile, a slap” was the “it” factor that Lila possesses that makes her a person to chase after. The post states, “I like to think its an energy, a free spirit which cannot be defined by just physical beauty.” The reason everyone always seemed so attracted to Lila did puzzle me but maybe its because it also puzzled Lenù and tit s her lens from which the story is being told. I want to say that don’t even think Lenù entirely knows why she is so drawn to Lila. Maybe the “energy” Lila possesses not only attracts boys to seek relationships with her but also why Lila seeks friendship with her.

The post, “Childhood: Proving Oneself,” focused on the “… very real struggle f carving your own path and finding your identity.” This theme is very characteristic to childhood itself and I also liked the use of “autonomous virtuosity” by ferrante and that it was brought into this post. Lenù in this time of her life like most children is going through the process of figuring out who she is and how she can navigate her strengths to create a better life for herself while also creating her own identity.

“Finding One’s Value Through Competition,” talks about the very evident and constant competition between Lenù and Lila about literally everything whether its grades or boys. The line in this post, “This is the only way that Lenù could attempt to make herself feel valuable and accepted,” is specifically interesting to me because Lenù does seek a lot of her own validation from being better than Lila and when she fails to be better, her identity crumbles.

A contrast to the previous post is titled, “Elena’s Realization: who is more dependent?”. This post talks about the very important time in Lenù’s development where she changes from thinking she needs Lila to succeed to thinking Lila may need her more than she had previously thought. This post describes it as, “Elena is at a place in her life where she finally feels comfortable and not necessarily inferior to those around her, especially Lila.” I do agree that this change in Lenù’s view of herself is very important and shows a great amount of growth.

Overall, I think the majority of these posts talked about the dynamics surrounding Lenù and Lila’s friendship. Reading these posts has made me realize that I find the interworking’s of their relationship the most interesting and the most confusing. I definitely was to focus more on the co-dependency factor of their friendship and how it affects them both, negatively and positively and maybe even delve into how toxic it really is.

Luck and Stealth Are for Escape Artists

In my Post 1, about Lenù’s first lesson in a skill “at which [she] would later excel” (54) – holding back her fear and despair – I focused on a passage within the section about the beginning of the girls’ friendship. Lila’s throwing Lenù’s doll down the grate is only one example of her systematic testing of her friend. Lenù rises to the challenge, choosing between “two agonies” and throwing Nu down the abyss as though it were a natural gesture, even as she keenly feels the risk she is taking.

This is not the only time Lenù keeps her thoughts and feelings to herself when she’s with Lila. Though initially she has the impulse to tell Lila that she has seen Nino at middle school, she decides not to tell her (158). When Lila tells Lenù that gramophone is a Greek word, Lenù makes an excuse and leaves (141). She has hidden feelings of upset at other times too, like when she realizes that Pasquale paid attention to her only to get close to Lila (130). And when she can’t hold back her feelings, she makes an excuse – she tells Lila that she was crying “because of the bracelet” after Lila threatens to kill Marcello Solara (136).

Lenù is luckier than her friend in getting to go to middle school and, later, high school, A sequence of events will lead her to a different kind of life. The teacher’s invitation for Lenù to spend part of her fifteenth summer on Ischia is one of those lucky events; on Ischia, she “bloom[s]” (209).

http://www.naviearmatori.net/ita/foto-38241-4.html

In addition to being luckier than Lila regarding going past elementary school, it’s through stealth that Lenù will succeed in getting away. As smart as Lila is, it’s Lenù who is the one who ultimately understands that she has grown too big for the neighborhood. Rejoicing in the new (like when her father shows her Naples [138] or her time on Ischia) and her skill at not blowing up when she’s angry are going to get her out of the dead end life of the rione.

“Catcalling” and men’s behavior towards women

“On the street the men looked at all of us, pretty, less pretty, ugly, and not so much the youths as the grown men. It was like than in the neighborhood and outside of it, and Ada, Carmela, and I myself-especially after the incident with the Solaras-had learned instinctively to lower our eyes, pretend not to hear the obscenities they directed at us, and keep going”(pg. 145).

I decided to choose this specific piece from the book for this week’s assignment, since I can relate to it, and I am sure other women may relate, as well. Taking into consideration the region and the time period, women were not exactly admired when it came down to skills or such matters. Throughout the first book, we encounter several occasions where men are admiring the womanly figures and the overall physical appearance of the female characters. To me, it always seems unfair and unjust, not to be able to “fight back” when men are just staring at you; but having to let go and remain silent, instead. The girls in that case were accompanied by either their brothers or other male friends, and the older men were still staring at the teenage girls and kept trying to get their attention with their words. This scenario hasn’t always been an issue and is still an issue today. I am not saying that being nice and complimenting a woman is not acceptable, as long as it is done with respect. Most of the time, the comments made by men are not even close to respectful, which results in women wanting to disappear immediately. On the other hand, Lenu is always commenting on the boys’ appearance and how Nino Sarratore is the most beautiful boy she’s ever seen, or how she really likes Marcello; but nobody would really consider these comments as offensive, since they come from an “innocent girl’s” mind, and they don’t necessarily mean to be disrespectful towards the boys addressed here. So, I guess we have a double-standard.

Rivalry and Teamwork

At the beginning of their friendship, Lila and Lenú’s lives are following fairly similar tracks. Just as they were when standing on the threshold of Don Achille’s door, Lila and Lenú are again on the verge of something that will change their lives. However, this time they are not facing it together. Lenú is about to start high school, and Lila beginning her life of work in her father’s shoe store. Rather than finding solace and a sense of bravery with each other, Lenú is angered when Lila attempts to follow along her path.

Lenú finds that even with all this difference between their lives now, Lila still manages to keep close. Before Lenú has even started high school Lila reveals she has already learnt some Greek, before Lenú has.  “She had done it on her own, while I hadn’t even thought about it… Would she always do the things I was supposed to do, before and better than me? She eluded me when I followed her and meanwhile stayed close to my heels in order to pass me?”

Lenú is angered by the idea that Lila is still beating her in her studies despite no longer attending school. She is not comforted by the fact she can share in her studies with her friend, but rather dislikes Lila for not only keeping pace with her, but going ahead of her.

At the same time, Lenú is equally affected when Lila stops studying. Lenú finds that she has no interest in her studies if they do not involve Lila. “…since Lila had stopped pushing me, anticipating me in my studies, and my reading, school… had stopped being a kind of adventure and had become only a thing that I knew how to do well and was much praised for” (P 187)

Lenú no longer feels consoled by Lila being with her. She seems to feel no relief whether Lila is with her or not. She is intimidating when Lila studies with her. When Lila show no interests in studies, Lenú does not either. Lila acts as both Lenú’s inspiration, pushing her to do well in school, and her antagonist, making her feel inadequate. Whether in competition with Lila or not, Lenú can not find a balance in her relationship with Lila. Their friendship has turned into one of codependency, Lenú needs competition with Lila to give herself an aim of what to do, ie Lila is the best students so Lenú needs to be second best. But at the same time, Lenú is always devastated when she cannot reach Lila. She wants Lila to be the best, but is upset that she herself will always be second best. It is a paradox, she both wants herself to be the best, but also wants Lila to be the best.

Lila becomes a “woman”

In my previous post I examined the complicated relationship between Elena and Lila through the lens of Elena’s first menstruation. Elena used her menstruation as a reason to put Lila down in her own mind. In this week’s reading Lila is the one to get her period. On page 133 Elena is bragging about how she will go to high school, and presumably Lila feels left out, so she tells Elena that she got her period. Elena is completely obsessing over the fact that Lila got her period and what that would mean to the balance of power in their friendship. Elena thinks, “The fact that I was going to high school quickly lost it’s aura” (133). The way Elena puts herself down when it comes to Lila is almost scary, as if Elena’s personality is connected to Lila’s. Elena starts to notice Lila’s physical appearance, describing her the same way she did earlier when she had her period and Lila did not (134). But this time Elena notices that Lila has grown. It is hard to tell if Lila has actually grown because Elena uses words such as “she [Lila] seemed taller.” The physical shape of Lila seems to change based on Elena’s view of her. By using the word “seem” it makes the comment a subjective one. The “seemed” puts the reader in Elena’s head. We only see Lila through Elena. It is not an objective view of Lila, but rather a subjective view. Whether Lila has actually grown is another issue entirely. 

Again I am fascinated by how the story is framed because we are hearing it from Elena. And the reader is in her head as an adolescent, not an adult. Because of that Ferrante is able to place the reader inside the thoughts of an obsessive teenager. As I discussed the book with another student in class, she mentioned that she thought this book examined young female friendship in a way that she had not read before. I agree with this statement. During years of adolescence young girls, from my own experience, are confronted with all these new emotions that they cannot navigate. Ferrante is able to take us into that complicated mind wonderfully. Ferrante is less focused on the reality of situations and more focused on how young girls interpret these situations. This is why the reader is given is conflicting views between what is reality in the novel and what is just in Elena’s head.

A look, a smile, a slap.

The unwritten rules of everyday life in a rione of Naples that must be respected. Where a married pizzaiolo, who only smiles, blows a kiss innocently, perhaps not, at a pretty girl, earns him a slap in the face (pg 145). On what moral standings would such actions be justified? It is 1950s southern Italy, Naples is under the historical veil and influence of the conservative Catholic Church. Are the actions of the pizzaiolo so morally wrong that it makes Rino’s macho response acceptable? Ferrante writes little of faith or religion of her characters. I find it hard to believe that society was not influenced in some way considering that the Catholic religion was the official religion in Italy and was a compulsory course in school until 1984. She may very well be a atheist, the link I’ve added certainly suggest it and that maybe a reason religion is not a part of her book. Even though one may not be spiritual, religion surrounds the people and the cultural traditions of the day must be respected. Beyond the cloak of religion, tradition rules the day. One does not just ask a girl out without asking the parents, one does not get into a boys car alone, one does not openly flirt with a girl in pubic. These things are not done, if you do them, you do them a your own peril. Though a slap is not a knife stab or slice to the throat which is meant to kill it is a warning sign that worst can come one’s way.

The attraction men have to Lila is hard to pin point but whatever “it” is, she’s got it. I like to think it’s an energy, a free spirit which can not be defined by just physical beauty. She does have a strong effect on men and she is becoming well aware of it and enjoys the influence that it brings (pg144). How or will she learn to navigate this power to sway and enhance her life? Will she follow the cultural and religious traditions of the day or will she be a free sprit and write her own rules to live by? If we go back to the prologue “She wanted not only to disappear herself, but to eliminate the entire life that she left behind” (pg 23) it’s a good indication that she will write her own rules. 

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/apr/21/elena-ferrante-god-didnt-make-good-impression

Post 2 is due on Monday

Dear All,

Just a brief note to let you know that I updated our website with learning objectives, requirements and grading method. Please have a look and comment this post if I need to adjust any of them. I create a template you can use to grade your own participation. I included more detailed instructions in the page Assignments>blogging.

Please bring back Benjamin’s essay next time.

Have a great weekend and enjoy the book.

Stefania

My Brilliant Friend; Education making Dreams come true

One passage that was emotionally charged to me was paragraph 3 on page 70. “In that last year of elementary school, wealth became our obsession. We talked about it the way characters in novels talk about searching for treasure. We said, when we’re rich we’ll do this, we’ll do that. To listen to us, you might think that the wealth was hidden somewhere in the neighborhood, in treasure chests that, when opened, would be gleaming with gold, and were waiting for only us to find them.”

This Passage stood out to me because this instance of relating an education to wealth is something that can be seen not only across genres but in real life as well. There is such an innocence to the thought that those who have not had the chance to grow up with the most stability will be able to reach that “treasure” of financial security and the hope of achieving something better in life. This is just an example of the parallels of fiction and real-life and how these feelings and experiences can be reflected onto and related to the audience.