Tag Archives: motherhood

Metapost

This week the posts varied by three categories: focusing on the earthquake, highlighting other aspects of The Story of the Lost Child, or commenting on Lucamente’s article.

Most of the students chose to react to the effects of the earthquake. Ariana focuses on what the earthquake symbolizes by comparing the scientific cause and effect of earthquakes to the experiences the characters must endure from the disaster. She states, “Lenu is experiencing moments which lead to her own personal earthquake,” as she decides to leave the stability of Pietro to return to the chaos of Nino.” Next, Paul pays attention to the significance the earthquake has on Lila and Elena’s relationship. He emphasizes how earthquakes are uncontrollable and unable to be manipulated by humans and this catastrophe, out of Lila’s power, forces her to “finally confess to Elena all the reasons for her behavior.” Similarly to Paul, Kelsey notes how, on account of the earthquake, Lila is “stripped of the ability to precisely calibrate her thoughts, words, gestures, tactics, and strategies.” Kelsey also highlights how Elena notices the difference in Lila’s fear compared to her own fear of the event. Julie concentrates on the comparison between the earthquake and Elena, noting how the literal foundations of Naples and the foundations of Elena’s life overlap and suffer “violent breakage and destruction,” at the same time. While Naples shatters, Elena’s personal life faces catastrophe – she gives birth, her mother dies, and Nino cheats.

Shoshanna and Skevi both chose to focus on different aspects of the novel. Skevi focuses on the compelling passage that took place at the gynecologist. She comments on Elena describing Lila as “malicious” and “anxious.” Skevi finds that Elena has constructed an image of Lila that is inferior to the image she thinks and wants people to have of herself. She also notes how it is contradicting that Elena finds Lila to be “anxious” when Elena constantly questions her own life decisions. Shoshanna’s post discusses Elena’s rocky transition through motherhood. She highlights how the constant turbulence and “unmotherly” actions will affect Dede and Elsa, mentioning the idyllic image the girls hold of Lila, which juxtaposes with the image they have of their own mother. Shoshanna theorizes that is is easy for children to idealize other parents when they don’t witness the punishment and negativity.

Lastly, Katherine focuses on Lucamente’s article. She notes how this piece swayed her view of Elena. Lucamente describes Elena as an exploitative person, rather than a dependent one. Katherine finds that Elena’s actions are usually always self-sufficient and one-sided, as “most of the relationships she creates are because she can benefit from them,” socially, financially, and academically.

From the posts, it is evident that the earthquake had a notable effect on both readers and characters. The event undoubtedly changed Lila and Elena. It is also clear that this volume displays the repercussions Elena faces regarding her life decisions and the complexities she encounters juggling her personal and professional life.

Coveting Mothers

Elena’s parenting has taken many turns throughout her time as a mother. At first she had much trouble connecting to the baby Dede and held resentment towards her for that. Then Elena started devoting all her time to being a mother to Dede and Elsa during their formative years, until Nino came into the picture. Elena started ignoring her children in favor of her love for Nino. She involves her daughters directly in the divorce with Pietro, which must have a lasting impact on them. I think about how much Pietro was affected by that one time he saw his mother with another man; it still had lasting effects until he was an adult. Dede and Elsa have been subjected to much worse, so I can only imagine how it will affect them as adults. Elena even leaves her children with her in-laws for almost a two year period. Dede and Elsa are constantly changing cities and schools and that must be hard on them. It seems extremely unmotherly to me to leave one’s children for that amount of time when they are growing up.

 What interests me is the phenomenon of children wanting others as their parents. I remember growing up that my best friend’s mom always made delicious dinner that would be on the table by 6p.m. every night, while my own mother was usually at work until 8p.m. most nights of the week. I used to tell my mother that I wished my best friend’s parents were my parents because they took better care of their children. I am sure that it must have been heartbreaking for my mother to hear that, just as it is heartbreaking for Elena.

When Elena goes to America with Nino she leaves the kids behind with Lila. After they return home they say to Elena, “Mamma, why don’t we go see Aunt Lina, why don’t you let us sleep at her house more, don’t you have to go away anymore?” (135). Elena refers to this as her daughter’s “idealization of Lila” and it “hurts” Elena (135). This encounter made me look both at Elena’s life and my own life and wonder what it is that makes children resentful of their own parents and attached to the parents of others. I tried to find a scholarly article on this subject but had trouble coming across anything of substance, so I will give my own interpretation. I think that one’s own parents are always the ones that have to make the rules and punish their children, while other parents will seemingly treat their own children like angels. It is easy to idealize the treatment of another child by their parents when you don’t live there and don’t see their own children being punished as well. I believe this is especially true for Dede and Elsa who must hold even more resentment towards their mother because she has left them before for long periods of time.

Motherhood in Reverse

Although I did not get a chance to write a post this week since I was behind on reading, I would still like to contribute to the posts. I find it appalling that at the beginning of The Story of the Lost Child, Elena makes a comparison between her and Lila’s style of parenting. She goes on to criticize, “Had Lila worried about Gennaro when she left Stefano, when she abandoned the child to the neighbor because of her work in the factory, when she sent him to me as if to get him out of the way? Ah, I had my faults, but I was certainly more a mother than she was.” (Ferrante 24) Although Elena goes on to explain herself, revealing that such sentiments were the result of bitterness and confusion, seeing as how Lila paid little attention to Elena’s children before, it seems as though Elena is attempting to lessen her own feelings of guilt. She knows perfectly well that the circumstances in which Lila committed each of those actions were done out of necessity and desperation rather than in carelessness and neglectfulness towards Gennaro. The abuse, rape and violence that Gennaro witnessed at home with Stefano towards his mother, the necessity to provide for her child and the desire to keep him out of harm’s way due to Naples’ political catastrophes were all motherly and shrewd decisions on Lila’s part. Although Elena should be given the benefit of the doubt in the sense that she’s aware of these facts, it seems as though Elena lacks any pride on her part knowing that her children do not have to fear the same things that Gennaro does. This, in itself, is definitely one of her successes as a mother and grants her the ability to escape the neighborhood, at least physically. However, having known Lila all her life in the context of the neighborhood, she should have realized that what constitutes a “good mother” in Naples is a spark contrast to this concept in Florence.  Even so, Elena is in denial, choosing to put off the idea that her children will be harmed mentally by her running off with Nino, and that, in doing so, she is inevitably bringing herself back to the neighborhood where, until that point, she had managed to avoid almost wholly. She is reversing her life by giving in to old desires and forgetting that the future demands her moving on from her past insecurities and pettiness towards Lila.

Meta-Post Blog 6

A common theme in the posts this week was the characters of Lila and Lenù wanting to escape from their own childhood and background. As Irini writes “It is evident from youth that the girls want to be destined for a much more fulfilled life than what is traditionally expected for them.” When speaking of what is traditionally expected from the young women, many of us concentrated on what their mothers expected. Julie writes of how the girls break away from the general archetype of “mothers” and how in western literature, stories of women “grappling with the Mother figure, having a friendship with another girl that towers over every other subsequent relationship” is uncommon.

Kelsey wrote of a “generational ‘curse’” inherited from their mothers, which after the birth of her child, Lila is desperate to break away from, and raise her child differently than she herself was. This is in contrast to Paul’s post, where he writes that “every generation does the best they can with the knowledge that has been passed down”. Lila, instead of using this knowledge as a manual to raise her child, uses it as a checklist of what not to do. Irini writes that “Lila … personally dedicates her time to making sure he is brilliant… Lila does not want her son to turn out stuck like her..” Kelsey adds to this by saying Lila nurtures not only her son’s wellbeing, but also his intelligence. This is something her own family does not to do, and another way of breaking the “generation curse”.

The way Lenù breaks from what is the norm, specifically in terms of mothers and motherhood is also discussed this week. Ariana writes that “Through assimilating to her new environment ( in Pisa), Lenù searches to become less of a Neapolitan and less like her mother in order to have a better chance in life”, meaning that through speaking differently than her mother and assimilating somewhere other that Naples, she avoids becoming like her mother, which Irini writes  was also a fear of Lenù’s and “a major factor in how hard she pushed herself to success.”

Annabella writes not of how Lenù breaks away from her mother, but from Lila. A relationship that has slowly been deteriorating, Annabella’s post explains that in the wake of their vacation to Ischia, the two young women are in completely different mental states; “Elena is beginning to find it in this newfound sense of what it means to live life passionately and bravely, while Lila is discovering it in the depths of Nino’s soul that has taken her own as refuge”.

Another topic this week was the importance of names. Jackie and Zevi wrote on this topic, writing about the power names can have. Jackie writes that when Lenù chooses the nameGreco to be the name on her book, and not the last name of her fiance, “Lenù changes the Greco name from that of a porter to that of a writer. In doing so she simultaneously increases the power behind the name Greco. Her name printed on the cover of a book ties the name to higher education and success which holds a lot of power. “

Zevi, conversely, writes of the power of Lenù’s fiance’s last name. She writes of how after being associated with Pietro Airota, she is given more respect by other students, and that as the Airotas are a prestigious family they therefore a good name, and Lenu benefits from being associated with it

Womanhood and Motherhood in Ferrante’s World

Throughout adolescence and early adulthood, Lila and Lenù must grapple with confronting the socially constructed norms for women, wives, and mothers in Naples. As girls, they had examples of what was expected of females in the Rione. As Emma Van Ness states, “by rejecting the dolls and the significance of those dolls, Lila and Elena open up the opportunity for new significance, for new possibilities for themselves as female objects outside of the familiar, gendered semiotic framework” (299). It is evident from youth that the girls want to be destined for a much more fulfilled life than what is traditionally expected for them.

As the girls grow older their paths diverge as Lenù goes against the expected of a woman and continues in academia and Lila goes down a domestic path. Despite choosing to get married, Lila still tries to be a married woman under her own terms, though that proves to be difficult. Nevertheless, Lila continues to be fiery, fearless, strong-willed, and free-spirited. Ness justly writes, “Ferrante frames Lila from the beginning of her trilogy as a violator of taboo whose boldness blazes a trail for Elena” (299). Lila defies what is considered normal in all of her decisions. She has a child with Nino while she is still married to Stefano. I think that Lila’s constant spontaneous actions and ability to make decisions without caring about how others will think or respond are major points of envy for Lenù, someone is who is meticulous and overly considerate of the opinion of others. But, without Lila pushing boundaries, Lenù would not be who or where she is in life.

Lila quickly becomes a sincerely devoted mother to Gennaro. She personally dedicates her time to making sure he is brilliant. After her encounter with Maestra Oliviero, it is apparent to Lila that her son will be the smartest in the class and go on to achieve a life that she herself should have achieved. The relationships between mother and child are a powerful component of Ferrante’s work. Lila does not want her son to turn out stuck like her, while Lenù never wanted to turn out like her own mother. Lenù was always afraid she would turn out like her mother and I think that was a major factor in how hard she pushed herself to success.